Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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