On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
the day after is always just damage control
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
