I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
