I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
