Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
