drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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