I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
