Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
