The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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