who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
