Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I could fuck to npr.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Damn victory sex feels great
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
