mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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