so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
