I cockslap morals
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize