Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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