Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Come share oat with me in your robe
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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