The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
