I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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