I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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