so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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