4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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