areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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