tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
