That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
