i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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