We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize