i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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