ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
