dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize