Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
