Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
