i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It's official drugs can't kill me
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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