i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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