my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
