I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
