I feel like I'm in dance class right now
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
There's always time for handjobs
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
