my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i believe in u and ur pee
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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