Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
