found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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