im drinking this country out of the recession.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
