so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
