Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
