i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
