thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
