Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
