i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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