There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
