3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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