I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
