I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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