My nipple is on Facebook.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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