I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
