I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
