dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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