the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
