i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
