never play flip cup with pint glasses
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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