I wish I only lived at night.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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