I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
