Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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