He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
