Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
BRING THE BAGELS
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
