Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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