THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
