there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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