Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
