Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
