Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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