i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
