I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
