5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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