Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
