Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I said "one day" and that day is not today
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
