I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I wish i was in the wii world.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
